They say the definition of madness is to continue doing the same thing while expecting a different result. So, after ‘Porky’ Kershaw led the LUGS to their worst ever defeat in this fixture last year why, one wonders, did it make sense for him to captain the LUGS in the return game? Because, perhaps, you learn from your mistakes?
And so, on Friday 20 February 2026, LUGS suffered their second worst ever defeat to the DUGS. The half point improvement in the overall score matched Porky’s own half point improvement over last year (scoring a defeat and a half rather than two defeats). Having mathematicians within the LUGS ranks is of some benefit – but the news that, on current rates of progress, we would reach some sort of parity only in the early 2040s came as little comfort.
Watching DUGS captain Aidan Neill shape up against the hapless Porky does not make for easy viewing. Those old enough to remember Mike Tyson at the start of his career will recall feeling sorry for his opponent before the fight started. So too with Porky after his ‘masterplan’ of stacking the early order for a fast start resulted in LUGS trailing by four after the first four games hit the showers before lunch. Happily for Porky, the matches he had billed as ‘LUGS cannon fodder’ came through for him and 4-2 at halftime was rather better than, at one point, expected.
A convivial lunch followed and the old trick of relaxing your opponent so as to make a fast start in the afternoon was deployed. But the DUGS are wise old owls and only one win followed for the LUGS under the darkening afternoon winter skies.
The DUGS have always had a sound aspect of ‘family’ to their teams. And while there were still two Conways playing, there were now three Neills including the straight hitting Deirdre who did not miss a fairway all day.
Laidlaw Purves witnessed another very fine dinner. Aidan gave an excellent and magnanimous speech after Porky’s explanation of why the handicapping system had counted against him. Though present, we sadly didn’t get either the rundown on Cheltenham from Jonathon Lavelle or the Cliff Richards joke from Barry Grundy. Stalwart Mike Gibson predicted an Irish victory at Twickenham though – the only thing wrong with his forecast is that it was a rout rather than a close match.
And so ended yet another marvellous day out with the DUGS!
| LUGS | DUGS | |||
| 1 | Nick Holt/George Taggart | Andrew Stokes/Mark Murname | W5/3 | |
| 2 | Mike Kershaw/Andrew Westmore | Aidan Neill/Nicholas Dillon | W4/3 | |
| 3 | Andrew Berryman/Jeremy Smith | Cormac Neill/Dermot O’Grady | W2/1 | |
| 4 | James Bull/Jonathon Lavelle | John Conway/John Flavin | W3/2 | |
| 5 | Nicola Calder/Neil Falconer | W4/3 | Deirdre Hoey/Mike Gibson | |
| 6 | George Yeandle/Mark Conway | W2/1 | Paddy O’Sullivan/Barry Grundy | |
| Morning Score | 2 | 4 | ||
| 1 | George Taggart/Jeremy Smith | Andrew Stokes/Aidan Neill | W2/1 | |
| 2 | Mike Kershaw/Nicola Calder | Halved | Mark Murnane/Deirdre Hoey | Halved |
| 3 | James Bull/Nick Holt | Nicholas Dillon/Dermot O’Grady | W2/1 | |
| 4 | Mark Conway/Andrew Westmore | W3/2 | Cormac Neill/John Conway | |
| 5 | George Yeandle/Jonathon Lavelle | John Flavin/Paddy O’Sullivan | W3/2 | |
| 6 | Andrew Berryman/Neil Falconer | Barry Grundy/Mike Gibson | W2up | |
| Afternoon Score | 1.5 | 4.5 | ||
Result: DUGS beat LUGS by 8.5-3.5
London University Golfing Society 